NAVIGATING THE COMPLEX
JOURNEY OF DIVORCE:
CHALLENGES AND FINANCIAL
STRUGGLES FOR MEN
DIVORCE
ISSUE 20, AUGUST 2024
REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
WWW.DIVORCELENDINGASSOCIATION.COM
Top Challenges Men Face During
Divorce
Comprehensive Divorce
Checklist for Men
Strategic Solutions for Divorcing
Military Spouses
04
05
TOP CHALLENGES MEN
FACE DURING DIVORCE
12
HOW TO BUY A HOME
WHILE ON THE
MORTGAGE TO THE
MARITAL HOME
15
THE EVOLUTION OF THE CDLP®
11
STRATEGIC SOLUTIONS FOR
DIVORCING MILITARY SPOUSES
14
THE DEFAULT EFFECT OF
DIVORCE ON TENANCY BY
ENTIRETY
TABLE OF
PRESIDENT’S LETTER
COMPREHENSIVE
DIVORCE CHECKLIST
FOR MEN
09
CONTENTS
The Value of Working with a Certified Divorce Lending
Professional (CDLP®)
A CDLP® brings the financial knowledge and expertise of a solid
understanding of the connection between Divorce, Family Law,
Financial and Tax Planning, and mortgage planning strategies
related to real property and divorce.
A CDLP® is trained to recognize potential legal and tax
implications of mortgage planning in divorce situations.
A CDLP® is skilled in specific mortgage guidelines as they pertain
to divorcing homeowners.
A CDLP® can identify concerns with support structures that may
conflict with mortgage planning opportunities.
A CDLP® works directly with the professional divorce team to help
implement a strategic divorce settlement agreement, ensuring the
best opportunities to secure mortgage financing after the decree.
A CDLP® can recommend financing strategies that help
divorcing clients identify mortgage planning opportunities for
maintaining the current marital home while helping to ensure the
ability to achieve future financing for the vacating spouse.
A CDLP® does not give legal or tax advice.
Divorce Mortgage
Planning Journal
Published by:
www.DivorceLendingAssociation.com
This for informational purposes only and
not for the purpose of providing legal or tax
advice. You should contact an attorney or
tax professional to obtain legal and tax
advice.
Copyright by
Divorce Lending Association, LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, or by any
information storage or retrieval system
without the written permission from the
copyright holder.
The DLA is a national organization dedicated to bridging the gap
between the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of divorce and
the real estate and mortgage process, ensuring that divorcing
individuals have the knowledge, resources, and support they need to
secure their financial well-being and make confident decisions about
their housing needs.
What is the Divorce
Lending Association?
03 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
LETTER
PRESIDENT’S
Dear Colleagues,
In this issue of the Divorce Real Estate & Mortgage Journal, we focus on an important, often
under-discussed topic: Men and Their Personal Challenges During Divorce. Divorce is an
emotionally charged and financially complex process for all parties, but the unique difficulties faced
by men in these situations often go unaddressed.
Men navigating divorce can face a range of challenges, from the emotional toll of family separation
to the financial burden of property division, spousal support, and homeownership decisions. This
issue delves into these personal struggles, offering insights into how professionals can better support
their male clients during these critical transitions.
As we explore the intricacies of men’s experiences, we also highlight how crucial it is to have the
right professionals guiding them through the real estate and mortgage decisions that will shape their
future. For many men, decisions about the marital home, property division, and mortgage
refinancing can be overwhelming, especially when combined with emotional turmoil. Our goal with
this issue is to shine a light on these challenges and provide practical solutions.
In our line of work, empathy is key. Whether you’re a mortgage professional, real estate agent, or
divorce attorney, understanding the emotional landscape your clients are navigating can make all
the difference in how you support them. By becoming more attuned to these personal challenges, we
can ensure that our clients—regardless of gender—are making decisions that will lead to their long-
term financial stability and emotional well-being.
Thank you for your continued commitment to excellence and for making a difference in the lives of
divorcing clients. As we continue to expand our knowledge and understanding, together we can
provide the guidance our clients need to thrive beyond the divorce process.
PRESIDENT & FOUNDER
04 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
The Emotional and Financial Strain of Divorce
Managing finances is one of the most significant challenges for men during and after divorce. Beyond
the costs associated with the divorce process, men may have to pay spousal and child support,
straining their finances, especially if they were the primary breadwinner. Additionally, men must find a
new place to live and cover the expenses of setting up a new household. This financial burden can be
overwhelming, but a CDLP® can help men understand their financial options and make informed
decisions to secure their financial future. By working with a CDLP®, men can navigate the financial
challenges of divorce and develop a solid plan for their future.
Navigating Custody and Housing Challenges
Child custody and visitation arrangements are another major struggle. Men often have to fight for fair
custody arrangements, which can be emotionally draining and financially costly. Finding stable and
affordable housing is also crucial. Divorce often necessitates a move, meaning securing a new home
that meets their children's needs. This can be challenging, especially in areas with high housing costs.
The need to furnish a new home and manage moving expenses further strains financial resources,
leading to feelings of insecurity and anxiety, compounding the emotional stress of the divorce process.
NAVIGATING THE COMPLEX
JOURNEY OF DIVORCE:
Divorce is an emotionally and financially draining
process for men, often leading to the loss of a
partner, home, and possibly even custody of
children.
Navigating
the
legal
system
and
negotiating a fair settlement can be daunting.
Societal expectations to remain strong and stoic
during this challenging time can make it harder for
men to express emotions and seek support. These
unique struggles complicate the divorce process for
men. However, with the help of a Certified Divorce
Lending Professional (CDLP®), men can find the
guidance and support they need to navigate this
difficult time.
CHALLENGES AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES FOR MEN
Written by Jody Bruns, President Divorce Lending Association
05 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
CHALLENGES AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES FOR MEN
The High Costs of Legal Battles
Legal fees are a significant financial burden during divorce. Attorneys,
mediators, and court costs can quickly add up, often running into
thousands of dollars. The adversarial nature of many divorces means that
legal battles can drag on for months or even years, increasing the financial
and emotional toll. Men need to be prepared for these costs and should
seek legal counsel that is both competent and cost-effective.
The Impact on Career and Credit
Balancing work responsibilities with divorce-related court dates,
meetings, and emotional stress can negatively impact job performance
and career progression. The time and energy required to navigate the
divorce process can lead to decreased productivity and missed
opportunities at work. In some cases, men may need to take time off work
to handle divorce-related issues, leading to a loss of income.
Divorce can also wreak havoc on a man’s credit. Joint debts, legal fees,
and new financial responsibilities can lead to missed payments and
increased debt. Credit issues can make securing loans, renting apartments,
or even getting a new job difficult. Men need to proactively manage their
finances and seek financial advice to mitigate these risks.
Health and Social Challenges
The stress of divorce can lead to significant health issues. Men may
experience stress-related health problems such as high blood pressure,
heart disease, and insomnia. The lack of time or resources to maintain a
healthy lifestyle can exacerbate these issues. Men must prioritize their
health and seek medical advice if they experience any health problems
during or after the divorce process.
06 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
Divorce can be
particularly
challenging for men,
not just because of
the legal and
financial
implications, but due
to the emotional
isolation they often
experience.
Men are frequently
expected to 'stay
strong,' which can
make it difficult for
them to seek the
emotional support
they need.
Divorce can also lead to social isolation. Friends and family may take sides, leaving men feeling alone and
unsupported. The loss of social connections can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression. Men should
seek out support groups or counseling to help rebuild their social networks and maintain their mental health.
New Relationship Challenges
Building new relationships while managing the divorce's ongoing responsibilities and emotional aftermath
can be challenging. Men may struggle to trust new partners or feel guilty about moving on. It’s important to
take the time to heal and focus on personal growth before entering new relationships. Counseling or therapy
can help men navigate these challenges and build healthy, fulfilling relationships in the future.
Financial Expenditures During and After Divorce
Men going through divorce often face numerous financial expenditures.
Child support and alimony payments are typically the most significant
expenses. These payments can consume a large portion of their income,
making it difficult to cover other expenses. Legal fees are another major
cost, with attorneys, mediators, and court costs quickly adding up.
Housing is another significant expense. Men must secure a new home,
pay rent or mortgage, and cover moving costs and new furniture.
Household expenses such as utilities, groceries, and daily living costs can
also increase quickly. Child-related expenses, including school fees,
extracurricular activities, clothing, and healthcare, are ongoing costs that
must be managed.
An unfortunate myth about housing is that men or women cannot
obtain new mortgage financing if they are still obligated on the current
mortgage for the marital home. This is where working with a Certified
Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®) can be advantageous. A
CDLP® can collaborate directly with the divorce team to ensure that the
necessary language is incorporated into the marital settlement
agreement, categorizing the existing mortgage as a Court Ordered
Assignment of Debt. This ensures the mortgage payment is not counted
as an existing liability for new mortgage qualification.
Health and Transportation Costs
Therapy and counseling are often necessary to cope with the emotional
and psychological effects of the divorce. These services can be expensive
but are crucial for maintaining mental health. Transportation costs,
including car payments, maintenance, and fuel, are also common
expenditures, especially if the man moves further from work or his
children’s schools.
CHALLENGES AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES
FOR MEN
07 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
WHY BECOME
AN ALLIED
PROFESSIONAL?
Together, we can make
a difference. Join the
DLA today and become
part of the solutions
for divorcing
individuals facing
complex financial
decisions surrounding
real property and
mortgage planning.
Amy Valdivia
Director of
Allied Professionals
Education.
Resources.
Community.
Divorce is not a failure, but a necessary chapter in your life’s story. It’s a chance to
rediscover who you are and build a future that reflects your true self, even through the
pain and uncertainty.
CHALLENGES AND FINANCIAL STRUGGLES FOR MEN
Debt repayment is another significant financial burden. Men often must pay off debts accumulated
during the marriage, including credit cards, loans, and shared financial obligations. Insurance
premiums for health, auto, and life insurance may increase post-divorce, adding to the financial strain.
Maintaining a Social Life and Handling New Responsibilities
Maintaining a social life and relieving stress through entertainment and social activities is important
for mental health but can also be costly. Dining out, hobbies, and travel are ordinary expenses that
men may need to budget for.
Divorce is a challenging process that requires men to balance numerous responsibilities and expenses.
By understanding the top struggles and financial expenditures, men can better prepare for the road
ahead and take proactive steps to manage their finances and emotional well-being. Seeking the
assistance of a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®) can provide the necessary expertise
and support to navigate these challenges successfully. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, building a strong
support network, and focusing on personal growth is crucial for navigating this difficult transition and
emerging stronger on the other side.
08 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
Divorce Mortgage Planning is not about originating a
mortgage loan for a divorced borrower; it’s about
creating a strategic blueprint for financial stability
during and after divorce.
Seek Professional Advice
Hire a Divorce Attorney: Find an experienced attorney to handle your case.
Consult a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®): Get expert advice on mortgage options,
refinancing, and financial planning.
Engage a Financial Advisor: Plan for your financial future, including investments, retirement, and
tax strategies.
Manage Child Custody and Visitation
Understand Your Rights: Learn about child custody laws and how they apply to your situation.
Create a Parenting Plan: Outline visitation schedules, holidays, and decision-making responsibilities.
Maintain Communication: Keep open lines of communication with your ex-partner regarding your
children’s needs and schedules.
Address Housing and Living Arrangements
Decide on the Family Home: Determine whether to keep, sell, or refinance the marital home.
Find New Housing: Secure a stable and affordable place to live post-divorce.
Plan for Moving Expenses: Budget costs associated with moving and setting up a new household.
Protect Your Credit and Financial Health
Separate Joint Accounts: Close or remove your name from joint bank accounts and credit cards.
Monitor Your Credit Report: Check for any changes or unauthorized activities.
Create a Debt Repayment Plan: Prioritize paying off debts and understand the impact on your credit
score.
Legal and Tax Considerations
Review Legal Documents: Ensure all divorce agreements, property settlements, and custody
arrangements are in writing.
Understand Tax Implications: Learn how divorce will affect your tax situation, including filing
status and deductions.
Update Your Will and Beneficiaries: Reflect on any changes in marital status and financial situation.
COMPREHENSIVE DIVORCE CHECKLIST
FOR MEN
09 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
Checklist for Navigating the Complex Journey of Divorce:
Challenges and Financial Struggles for Men
Understand Your Financial Situation
Gather Financial Documents: Collect bank statements, tax
returns, pay stubs, and investment account statements.
List Assets and Debts: Include joint and individual
accounts, property, loans, and credit card debts.
Create a Budget: Understand current expenses and
anticipate future costs.
Focus on Health and Well-being
Seek Emotional Support: Consider therapy or counseling to manage stress and emotional
challenges.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle: Exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep.
Build a Support Network: Connect with friends, family, or support groups for divorced men.
Plan for Your Career
Communicate with Your Employer: Inform them of your situation and request necessary
accommodations.
Stay Focused at Work: Prioritize your job responsibilities to maintain your performance and job
security.
Explore Career Development: Consider further education or training to enhance your career
prospects.
Maintain Social Connections
Stay Connected with Friends and Family: Lean on your social network for support and
companionship.
Engage in Social Activities: To build new relationships, join clubs, sports teams, or community
groups.
Avoid Isolation: Make an effort to maintain a healthy social life despite the challenges of divorce.
Prepare for New Relationships
Take Time to Heal: Focus on personal growth and recovery before entering new relationships.
Reflect on Past Experiences: Understand what you’ve learned from your marriage and divorce.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Establish clear expectations and communication in future relationships.
By following this comprehensive checklist, men can navigate the complexities of divorce with greater clarity
and confidence. Leveraging the expertise of professionals like Certified Divorce Lending Professionals
(CDLP®) can help secure a stable financial future and facilitate a smoother transition to post-divorce life.
10 DIVORCE REAL ESTATE & MORTGAGE JOURNAL
CHECKLIST FOR MEN CONTINUED